Updated: Apr 16, 2020
We’re well into the New Year of 2019 and I must say I’ve been deeply embedded with life happenings. So much with finishing that challenging Master’s degree, surviving the holidays, welcoming the New Year and only 2 weeks in my son seriously injured in an automobile accident. Now, as life offers twists and turns, I’ve taken the role of full time caregiver as he recovers at our home. It’s truly a blessing. I’ve done a few things that I normally would turn down and that is asking for and allowing help! In every way possible from food being delivered, coffees or cocktails when the evening comes, or slipping out to restorative yoga on Sundays to jump start my week. I have found it refreshing that people not just ask how my son is doing, but how I’m doing! Gratitude bells go off as I’m always honest.
I have days of being tired and trying to regain some sense of normalcy and get back to my clients and take care of myself, but there are days of frustration of how our lives have shifted momentarily due to recklessness of another driver. Yet in still, life doesn’t stop due to inconveniences. We must learn to adapt both our attitude and daily habits. One thing that I’ve definitely committed to in order for me to be a good “whatever” that day; I must practice what I call Soulful Self-Care. This goes beyond my nails, hair, massages, etc. it’s my non-negotiable…….. PMS. Yep, I said it! I’m not talking about the cramps and attitude that comes with those days thankfully gone by. My husband, Pete used to say that meant Peter Must Suffer! I’m talking about starting each day in Prayer, Meditation & Solitude.
Regardless of your spiritual practice or religion, creating a habit of daily PMS is the time that you gift to yourself to be grounded and be in stillness before reaching for your smartphone to check social media and emails. Prayer is simply saying thank you and being in gratitude for life. It’s the most intimate form of conversation that a human can choose to have. This alone shifts how you go throughout your day. When most people hear the word meditation, they picture some Zen person sitting and chanting, or it gives feelings of being uncomfortable and difficult. It’s neither that deep nor difficult. It’s creating an ongoing awareness of our thoughts, emotions and feelings. Once awareness is achieved we can become mindful of ourselves throughout the day. Trust me, for a person who used to constantly worry, this was a challenge.
Solitude is simply separation. The word itself means to separate from things or others; solitary confinement. Solitude must be scheduled. Whether it’s morning or night, it is a practice that many of us have long forgotten. The benefits of being with just you are often times quite comforting.
For me, it can come from driving with no radio, or music. In solitude. Taking a hot bath with candles….in silence. Simple Solitude. I came across this quote and it has stayed with me. We have so much external stimuli, it’s rare that we get a moment to actually BE with ourselves. Who are we showing up as? As women we hear the saying, “she’s comfortable in her own skin.” I can bet a good mint, that women spends a great amount of time in solitude.
"Before we can surrender ourselves we must become ourselves,” - Thomas Merton
As we enter into March, the time of Spring and new beginnings, regardless of what your New Year’s resolutions were; implement the daily practice of PMS. It will do you and others some good.
On Living an Extraordinary Life